he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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