We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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