He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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