I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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