Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
