Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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