did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize