Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
