He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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