wakey wakey hands off snakey
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she peed on how many people?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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