Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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