she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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