Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
