Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You pole danced in your parka.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
