If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
