bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They have beer where we have blood.
Terrible idea I love it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
