don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize