This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Welp...herpes.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
