dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
