the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Randomize
