This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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