Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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