He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
