I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
