Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
did i just pee glitter
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
