; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
