It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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