My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
