I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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