My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have fence marks all over my body
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
