fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
