alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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