I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
