it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
