In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
