will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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