I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You've changed since you got that strap on
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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