Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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