Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
