You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
