I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
