Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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