So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
