You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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