you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
