the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
