spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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