Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
