the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
