I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
